These sunglasses are CRAP, and other brilliantly divisive brand names
Why the opposite of what you think works.
👋, I’m Kimberly. I’ve been creating obsession-worthy brands for the past fifteen years. And now, I’m giving away my secrets every week in this newsletter.
This past weekend, I went “out” out for the first time in over a year.
It was a seventy-degree afternoon in San Francisco. And the not-upscale-but-not-a-dive-bar was “COVID packed” — meaning there were no empty seats at the tables placed six feet apart on the patio. The sun shone, the DJs spun, and everything seemed almost right with the world again.
I was with a girlfriend who lives in one of SF’s ware-homes (commune-style spaces, usually with 8+ people, typically in converted warehouses that are not legally zoned for residential use).
We met up with her roommates, who I’ll call Superhip Thing 1 and Superhip Thing 2.
Superhip Thing 1 wore a bright silver puffer jacket four times too big for her, tight black flared jeans that laced up the front like a corset, and orange ski goggles. Superhip Thing 2 sported oversized cargo pants and oval 90’s style sunglasses with yellow frames and yellow lenses.
After a few minutes of dancing at our table, I leaned over to Superhip Thing 2 and shouted, “I really like your sunglasses.”
“Oh, they’re crap,” she said, tilting her head back to look directly at the sun.
I paused—and looked up, too. “I mean, I think they’re cool. I don’t think they’re crap.”
“Crap. Crap Sunglasses. It’s the brand.”
“Oh, sweet.” I nodded. “Of course.”
Crap Sunglasses.
Oh wow, that’s a brilliant brand name, I thought. How has that not existed before?!?
I specialize in naming brands. I can write plenty of newsletters about my techniques. And I will. This week, I’m going to talk about Crap—and the technique of divisive naming.
1 / THE GOOD STUFF: WHY CRAP WORKS AS A NAME
I always tell my clients that choosing a great name takes courage.
If everyone you tell your brand name to immediately agrees with it and says, “Yes, that is perfect. It makes so much logical sense and there are no possible objections to this name. Go forth with all of my blessings and unconditional support forever and always!”… then you’ve probably got a boring name.
But a name like “Crap” would (and should) get objections from people.
“Ohhhh, too far.”
“But it’s the opposite of what you want it to be?”
”Eww. I just don’t like it.”
As such, crap is your classic divisive brand name. Some people are going to love it. Some people are going to hate it. Everyone is going to react to it.
And it’s this reaction that makes the name special. The immediate dissonance that comes with hearing a name like “Crap” (why would I want to buy crap?) leaves an impression that’s both arresting and memorable.
The very best brand names in the world do three important things. I call these three things my Great Name Trifecta.
GREAT NAMES ARE SMART
Saying “these are crap sunglasses” sounds like a joke—and the joke played out perfectly when Superhip Thing 2 told me the name of the brand. Hearing the name “Crap” made me smile—because I got it. And as a consumer, getting a joke makes me feel smart.GREAT NAMES ARE STICKY
The joke and my reaction to the name “Crap” made it very memorable. I would 100% recall it later if anyone asked me about it.GREAT NAMES ARE SHARABLE
I’d also tell people about the name “Crap” unprompted; I told my husband right when I got home. I also went on their site to check them out, thinking I would buy a pair. It’s the kind of name I’d consider wearing on a shirt or writing in a hashtag.
“Crap” achieves the trifecta 👏 👏 👏 .
2 / THE BAD STUFF: WHY CRAP DOESN’T WORK AS A BRAND
When you’re making the bold decision to go with a divisive name, you need to veer hard into one or two lanes with the rest of your brand to make it work.
LANE #1 : You lean so far into your name that it continues to be funny
LANE #2 : You continue to play on the dissonance—taking your brand in a super elevated direction that’s such a disconnect from your name that it works
Unfortunately, the Crap Eyewear brand doesn’t pick either of these lanes.
Their brand occupies a murky middle space where they try to be a little bit pun-y in their tagline “Don’t worry, be crappy.” So you think they’re going to lean right into Lane #1…
But then the rest of the brand sounds like Warby Parker (no markups on premium frames) and looks like any other brightly colored GenZ brand with SoCal vibes. Plus, if you have to say your sunglasses are “funky” - are they really?
Overall, I’d give Crap Eyewear a B- for a good concept that had the potential to be brilliant.
3/ THE GREAT STUFF: BRANDS THAT GOT BOTH RIGHT
Here are two fantastic examples of brands with divisive names that got their branding right by taking LANE #1 or LANE #2.
AND MY AWARD FOR LANE #1 GOES TO…. LIQUID DEATH
Meet Liquid Death, your new favorite…. water.
Yep, you read that correctly. A water named Liquid Death. Hello, dissonance! It’s me. This water brand.
If you haven’t seen Liquid Death yet, it’s probably because it is out of stock at Whole Foods—where it’s the top selling water.
As a brand, Liquid Death capitalizes on the concept of its name at every single opportunity—from the beer-vibes of the can to design of the fonts and skulls imagery to the “Murder Your Thirst” tagline.
You can go to Spotify to listen to “LIQUID DEATH’S GREATEST HATES” — a selection of comments from the brand’s haters set to punk music.
Their take on saving the environment is appropriately titled #DeathToPlastic.
They even have a Killer Baby Name Generator, if you’d like to let Liquid Death name your child.
If only this has existed a year ago, my son “Chell Spirit” could have been named “Butcher Mayehm.” #missedopportunity
The back of the can also makes for one of the most interesting reads you’ll ever find in a supermarket aisle.
Our proprietary thirst murdering process begins with liquid death forming a rope of veins that will wrap around your thirst’s head and strangle it. Once liquid death reaches your thirst’s brain, all of your thirst’s memories will be replaced with repeating loops of its own head imploding. Which is exactly what happens next by its causing your thirst’s head to implode and its brain to squirt out of its ears. Once your thirst has been murdered, the soul of your thirst will begin to escape and float towards the ceiling. At this point, drink a second sip of liquid death to rip its soul back down and force it to glue its own body parts together so that it can crawl back inside you and eventually grow into a fully formed thirst once again.
And I love how this copy on Liquid Death’s About Page sums up their brand strategy perfectly—in a branded way, of course.
We started Liquid Death with the totally evil plan to make people laugh and get more of them to drink more water more often. How? By taking the world’s healthiest beverage and making it just as unnecessarily entertaining as the unhealthy brands across energy drinks, beer, chips, and candy.
This totally-all-in-on-every-conceivable-level branding approach does justice to the name “Liquid Death.” And it makes the brand stand out for more than the name alone.
AND MY SECOND AWARD GOES TO… BOY SMELLS
In the second category, in which a brand has a divisive and potentially offensive name and veers in the opposite direction—I give you Boy Smells.
Like “Liquid Death” and “Crap Sunglasses,” the name “Boy Smells” gives the consumers an immediate feeling… and it isn’t a warm and fuzzy one. When I hear “Boy Smells,” I think of sweaty locker rooms, super stinky feet, and worse…
Which makes it an obvious perfect fit for the name of a candle and fragrance brand, right?!? Somebody thought so. And that somebody was brilliant.
“Oh, what’s that scent you’re wearing? I love it!”
“It’s called Boy Smells.”
Dissonance strikes!
The name “Boy Smells” is immediately arresting and very much memorable. Then, you see the brand.
And dissonance strikes again!
Ultra luxe and divinely feminine, Boy Smells candles and perfumes look almost otherworldly in their beauty.
Their photography could double as wall art—I would buy a few as prints!
Their minimalist packaging looks right at home in a lineup of brands at any high end retailer.
Their scent names (Violet Ends; Suede Pony; Polyamberous) sound super sexy with a side of intrigue.
Like Liquid Death, Boy Smells fully commits to its brand’s creative direction and integrates a strong story into every possible touchpoint.
If the Boy Smells brand were named something more common for a brand like this—a sexy-sounding French word, perhaps—it would still be beautiful, but it would be much more common and waaay less interesting.
Seeing “Boy Smells” in this creative context is a disconnect that keeps your brain in the game.
There’s something off, and it’s so stunningly off that (1) it sticks with you, (2) it makes you think, and (3) if you’re the target consumer for this type of brand (which I am)… you absolutely love it.
THAT’S A CRAP. I MEAN, A WRAP.
I’ll leave you with these final thoughts for anyone looking to create a brand that stands out in a crowded space:
🔥 Naming favors the bold 🔥
🥁 Dissonance is your friend 🥁
🙌 Commitment to creative matters 🙌
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Thanks, Kimberly 👋
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